Commentary That Carries the Reasoning · 承载推理的评论
Commentary points two ways
- Backwards, it explains why this evidence supports this claim.
- Forwards, it prepares the claim the next paragraph will make.
- Commentary that only points backwards leaves paragraphs in a row rather than in a path.
A paragraph that points only backward has to walk into the next paragraph in reverse.
评述指向两个方向
- 向后,它解释这条证据为何支撑这项主张。
- 向前,它为下一段将要提出的主张作准备。
- 只向后指的评述,留下的是依次排列的段落,而不是路径上的段落。
一段话如果只会往后指，走进下一段时就只能倒着走。
What the CED asks of it
- A line of reasoning is communicated through commentary that explains the logical relationship between evidence and claims.
- So commentary is not decoration on a paragraph — it is the material the reasoning is made of.
- Remove every commentary sentence from an essay and the line of reasoning goes with them.
CED 对它的要求
- 推理线索通过解释证据与主张之间逻辑关系的评述来传达。
- 因此评述不是段落上的装饰——它是推理赖以构成的材料。
- 把一篇文章中每一句评述都删掉,推理线索也就随之而去。
Commentary is decoration added to a paragraph after the argument is made. · 评论是在论证完成后添加到段落中的装饰。
It is the material the reasoning is made of — delete it and the line of reasoning goes too. · 它是构成推理的材料——删掉它，整条推理链也会消失。
Writing commentary that moves
- First sentence: because / which means / so — the logical relationship.
- Second sentence: what this now allows you to claim next.
- Two sentences of commentary per paragraph is usually enough, and usually two more than students write.
写出能推进的评述
- 第一句:因为 / 这意味着 / 所以——逻辑关系。
- 第二句:这一点如今使你可以接着主张什么。
- 每段两句评述通常就够了,而这通常比学生实际写的多两句。
Commentary or not? · 是评论还是不是？
Sort each sentence by whether it explains a relationship. · 根据是否解释关系对每个句子进行排序。
Good commentary points backwards to the evidence and ____ to the next claim. · 好的评论向后指向证据，并____向前指向下一个主张。
Forward-pointing commentary is what turns paragraphs in a row into paragraphs in a path. · 向前的评论是将连续段落变为连贯路径的关键。
"This shows that the policy failed" is not commentary. It announces a relationship without explaining it. Commentary has to say how the evidence bears on the claim — the word shows is where an explanation is supposed to begin, not end.
"这表明该政策失败了"不是评述。它宣称了一种关系却不加以解释。评述必须说出证据如何关涉主张——"表明"这个词本应是解释的起点,而不是终点。
"This shows the policy failed" is best described as... · "这显示了政策失败"最适合被描述为...
The word shows is where an explanation should begin, not end. · 单词 shows 应是解释的开始，而非结束。
Select all · 所有 the sentence types that are not · 不 commentary. · 选择所有不属于评论的句子类型。
The fourth is the only one that explains a relationship. · 第四个是唯一解释了关系的句子。
Three sentences that are not commentary
- Restating the evidence in different words.
- Restating the claim in different words.
- Announcing that the evidence "shows" or "proves" the claim without saying how.
三种不是评述的句子
- 用不同措辞复述证据。
- 用不同措辞复述主张。
- 宣称证据"表明"或"证明"了主张,却不说明如何证明。
Match each audit result to what it tells you. · 将每个审计结果与其所揭示的信息匹配。
Highlighting the commentary is the fastest diagnosis of an argument's real shape. · 高亮评论是诊断论证真实结构最快的方法。
The commentary audit
- Highlight every commentary sentence in your draft.
- If a paragraph has none, that paragraph currently earns evidence marks only.
- If they are all restatements, the essay has claims and evidence and no reasoning at all.
评述审查
- 把你草稿中的每一句评述都标出来。
- 如果某一段一句也没有,那这一段目前只能拿到证据分。
- 如果它们全是复述,那这篇文章就只有主张与证据,而完全没有推理。
Not commentary: "This shows the scheme did not work." Commentary: "Because the drop is concentrated in the group the scheme was funded to reach, the figure is not evidence of a general decline but of a targeting failure — which is why adding funding would repeat it." The second sentence also sets up the next claim.
不是评述:*"这表明该方案没有奏效。"评述:"因为这一下降集中在该方案受资助去触及的那一群体,这个数字并不是普遍下滑的证据,而是定位失败的证据——这也正是加大投入只会重蹈覆辙的原因。"*后一句同时为下一项主张作了铺垫。
Commentary explains the logical relationship between evidence and claim and is the material a line of reasoning is made of. Write two sentences per paragraph: the relationship, then what it now allows you to claim. Restating evidence or claiming something "shows" the point is not commentary.
评述解释证据与主张之间的逻辑关系,是推理线索赖以构成的材料。每段写两句:先写关系,再写它如今使你可以主张什么。复述证据、或宣称某物"表明"了要点,都不是评述。