Revising a Thesis in Practice
IntroducedTwo minutes that save an essay
- Before writing, list your claims and check each one against the evidence you actually have.
- Any claim your evidence cannot reach comes out now, not in paragraph four.
- The thesis is then written to cover exactly what is left.
A claim with no supporting source is a guest whose name is missing from the seating plan.
Put the pre-writing steps in order.
Two minutes of this saves a paragraph of damage later.
Writing the narrowed version
- Add the ground the claim actually holds on: in these cases, for this group, where X applies.
- The narrowed thesis is still arguable — narrowing is not hedging.
- "Where funding depends on scores" is a condition, not a retreat.
Narrowing or hedging?
Sort each revised thesis by whether it still says something.
Narrowing a thesis means...
A narrowed thesis is still arguable; hedging says nothing at all.
Changing the reasoning too
- The CED says new evidence may require changes to the line of reasoning, not only the thesis.
- If the thesis narrows, the order of your claims may need to change with it.
- A narrowed thesis with the old paragraph order often no longer has a path.
Revising the thesis may also require changing the line of reasoning.
The CED names both; a narrowed thesis with the old paragraph order often has no path.
Narrowing is not hedging. "Where funding depends on test scores, this happens" states a condition and remains arguable. "This may sometimes possibly happen in certain cases" states nothing — one is precision and the other is retreat.
Select all the benefits of a narrowed, qualified thesis.
Length is irrelevant; precision is what earns the sophistication point.
Revision is not weakness
- A narrowed, qualified thesis is harder to defeat and easier to defend.
- It is also the most reliable route to the sophistication point.
- The essay that hedges everywhere and the essay that qualifies precisely look different to a reader.
Check a revised thesis by reading it against your ____ body paragraph.
If that paragraph defends something narrower, the thesis has not caught up.
A final pass
- Read your thesis and then your last body paragraph, with nothing in between.
- Does the paragraph still defend that sentence? It should.
- If it defends something narrower, your thesis has not caught up with your own essay.
Thesis after the evidence: "Where a school's funding depends on its test scores, standardised testing changes what is taught before it changes what is learned." Narrow, conditional, and still something a reasonable person could dispute.
List your claims and cut the ones your evidence cannot reach before writing the thesis. Narrow by stating the ground the claim holds on, change the line of reasoning with it, and check by reading the thesis against your last body paragraph.